What is a good example of an initial peer support session?

Peer workers feed back that they worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. Initial sessions can be difficult if someone doesn’t seem to be engaging. Some peer workers report that there hasn’t always been support following sessions with someone checking how they are, leaving some unsure if they are doing a good job.
To help, our team of peer workers have put together guidance for initial sessions. Below you’ll find two examples illustrating common pitfalls during initial sessions, and how to avoid them when building trust and rapport.

An example of a first session that didn’t go so well

Click here to see an example of a poor first meeting between a peer support worker and a peer. This conversation demonstrates common pitfalls, such as failing to introduce the peer support role clearly, pushing the peer to open up too quickly, giving unsolicited advice, and generally lacking empathy. These issues can make the peer feel uncomfortable and hesitant to continue seeking support.

What went wrong in this conversation?

Click here to see what went wrong in this conversation.

Lack of
Introduction &
Setting
Expectations

The peer support worker didn’t introduce their role or explain what the peer could expect from this meeting, which might have left the peer unsure about the purpose of the session or about how the peer support process works. This can make peers feel uneasy or reluctant to open up.

Minimizing the
Peer’s Feelings

When the peer support worker responds with “everyone gets stressed” and “everyone has sleepless nights,” they’re minimizing the peer’s struggles, which can make the peer feel like their issues aren’t valid or serious enough to discuss.

Rushing into Solutions
and Giving Unsolicited Advice

Instead of listening to understand the peer’s experiences, the peer support worker jumps into suggesting solutions (like “manage your time better” or “try meditation”), which feels dismissive. The peer wasn’t asking for solutions immediately; they were trying to be heard.

Implying Blame and
Judging Effort

Statements like “you can’t expect to feel better if you’re not following through” and “you’re making it harder on yourself” imply that the peer is somehow at fault for their struggles. This judgmental tone discourages peers from sharing openly and can make them feel ashamed or inadequate.

Being Dismissive and
Over-Simplifying

The peer support worker’s responses, such as “just take action” or “set some goals and stick to them,” oversimplify the peer’s struggles and dismiss the complex emotions involved. These responses don’t acknowledge the reality that making changes while feeling overwhelmed can be incredibly difficult.

Not Building Rapport
or Encouraging Trust

Throughout the conversation, there’s little empathy or validation, which are essential in a first meeting. The peer support worker could have used reflective listening and encouraged the peer to feel comfortable and understood.

Overall, this example shows how a lack of empathy, rushing to offer advice, and minimizing the peer’s experience can lead to an unproductive and uncomfortable first meeting. Instead, a more effective approach would focus on listening, validating the peer’s feelings, and building trust so that the peer feels supported and more open to future sessions.

An example of a positive first session

Click here for an example of a better first meeting between a peer support worker and a peer. The peer support worker introduces what peer support is, explains what the peer can expect, and gradually builds a trusting and supportive environment. This conversation focuses on empowering the peer to express their feelings at their own pace.

This conversation includes an introduction to the peer support role and what the peer can expect, using compassionate language that respects the peer’s autonomy and pace. The peer support worker is non-judgmental and validating, offering gentle suggestions without directing or advising, which is a core component of peer support.

Final reflections

Although peer workers worry if the peer doesn’t seem to be engaging, sometimes two people might just not click.

It’s natural that not everyone will get along. People have different personalities, communication styles, and life experiences that shape their interactions. Disagreements or discomforts are normal, and it’s okay if those dynamics exist.

In situations like this, it’s helpful to maintain open, honest communication.
It can be helpful to be honest with yourself if that happens – you can’t help everyone and get along with everyone.
If the relationship isn’t working, it can be empowering for the peer to be clear about this as being honest builds trust and confidence for the future. Honesty can leave the peer feeling that others are trustworthy, and with the opportunity to try again with someone else.

There may also be cultural differences at play. For example, in some cultures it is considered disrespectful to make eye contact whereas to some a lack of eye contact could be perceived as impolite or unenthusiastic.

Supervision, or finding someone you can talk to, is helpful in this situation. Samaritans offer anonymous support to peer workers for anything you’re struggling with emotionally.

Remember support for you is just as important support for someone else. Without support your concerns or situation might escalate.