Paula’s story

1.) Can you tell us a bit about yourself and who you support?

I like to garden, be in nature & fight for social injustice. I care for my mother who lives alone in Moston.

2.) What kind of things do you do to support them?

I support my mum with sorting out all her bills, banking, some shopping, spend time with her every week, do some gardening, general basic DIY jobs, take her to medical appointments by translating & keeping on top of her health conditions. Calling her every day to check in on her.

3.) What has caring been like for you? What impact has being a carer had on your life?

It’s been more since my late dad passed 16 years ago. It’s more responsibilities & spending more time with my mum to help her be more comfortable as English isn’t her 1st language.

4.) Have you always considered yourself to be a carer?

Not really because in our culture it is expected of you to look after your elders. I’m British-born Chinese (BBC) & my parents immigrated from Hong Kong in the early 70s, they started a Chinese Take-Away in Yorkshire where it was quite racist. We were the only non-white family who lived in that village so we always felt alone/isolated from society.
In Chinese culture i.e. Hong Kong there is very little state benefits for the elderly so you will see very old folks in their 80s picking up rubbish to survive so without the support from their own family they would struggle.

We saw how my parents support financially – sending money back to Hong Kong to help my grandparents with their living expenses. So we always knew it would be us to look after my mum who is vulnerable without being able to communicate in depth with her financial & medical affairs. Plus she likes to chat with me in Cantonese so that helps her mental health/well being.

I am aware of my very hidden Chinese community in the UK who don’t create a fuss or demand support so they’re the forgotten minority that would need reaching out to as Unpaid carers the Manchester area.

5.) When did you realise you were a carer?

I guess when we looked at joining the Unpaid Carers Lived Experience Panel last October.

6.) What would make caring easier for you?

The fact there is quite a bit of support out there in the Manchester City Council we didn’t even know about earlier.

7.) What kind of support would make a positive difference in your life?

The cost of mini day trips e.g. a RHS garden visit supported for wellbeing for all involved.

8.) What would you say to someone who helps a friend or family member but doesn’t see themselves as a carer?

You’re doing a fantastic job supporting them as without your help their lives would be harder. We are the hidden unpaid social care the Council are unable to cope with.

9.) Is there anything else you’d like to add

I would be worried for folks who don’t have any support networks on how they would be looked after as the birth rate is dropping & more people leaving the country [Hong Kong].